27. A song that breaks your heart.
Ah, these people.
The thing is, I understand these people. I'm pretty sure I used to be one. I'm pretty sure I'm a recovering "these people", which means there's no used-to-be about it.
See, you grow up with someone who says and does nice things just to get something out of you. Then, they stop doing and saying nice things -- just to punish you for not playing the game by their rules. Just to show you who's boss. Or whatever. What you understand then, beyond the shadow of a doubt, is that they mean to harm you.
When they swing back to being nice, you forget who they were until they remind you with some exquisitely-designed humiliation. Some people figure it out. More people go to their graves wondering why.
You grow up, and when you meet a genuinely-kind person -- and kind, unlike nice, is never superficial -- you can't tell whether they're trying to manipulate you or just being themselves. So you lash out, even when they're so loving it hurts. Even when the air between you is emotionally neutral.
If you're smart, if you're lucky, you grow out of it. If you're really lucky, someone wise tells you the key is to trust someone until they prove that you can't. If you're really, really lucky, someone tells you that both hurting others and being hurt by them are unavoidable parts of life.
If you decide to be kind without evidence, you get what this song offers. And you get more of it than you ever thought possible.
This is Neil Young with "Peace of Mind".
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